Healing A Wound

Everybody has a scar.

Some prefer to hide it. Some write it into a cheesy poem. Some sing it. Some heal it with pray and happiness. Any way, we are walking pass each other without knowing the real struggle inside.

We are all imperfect. Smile over the pain. Live over the tears.

I wrote it 3 days ago in the morning at office. Feel a bit broken-hearted back then, haha well not really about "love", but yes a bit broken. My self-esteem somewhat dropped at that time. You know, the time when you feel vulnerable and unwanted.

But then I realized that everybody might be feel the same way, with a different issue.. that everybody is struggling inside, hiding the pain with smile and laughter.

I do that recently. There is a chaos in my mind (probably due to the woman jumbled-boxes-mind thing that I wrote on the previous post :p), a battle to categorize and finish every tasks. Sometimes I feel so alone and broken. But life goes on, I have to function as human, means I have to do daily routine, I have to socialise, I have to do this and that. And some of the things that bumped to me along the days, weeks, and months can lift and cheer me up--which is nice. :)

So, Hawa, you may be feel bitter in the morning (or night, depend on the event :p), but eventually you will feel better.

It is true the stimuli of both physical and emotional pain is processed in the same way in the brain. Basically our brain cannot distinguish which wound is physical and emotional because both are coded in one language: "hurt". What I'm trying to say that an emotional pain is like a physical damage, that finally recovered as the time goes.

Well.. that's what life all about, eh? :)

Oh iya, satu lagi, hampir lupa. Karena tadi pagi juga felt miserable about moving on (oh God no, it's not about my break up) and then my best friends from Hayang Nyingkah United comforted me with these golden words:

Kalo kata Veness: "Yakin aja sama apa yang udah dipilih. Soalnya mau milih mana juga pasti ada resikonya."

Kalo kata Mei: "Yang tidak mudah dari N salah satunya memang ini, tapi untuk itulah kita bikin U, biar sama-sama menguatkan dan H kita akhirnya tercapai."

Yes, Hayang Nyingkah United (HNU) is a Whatsapp group. Dibuat karena kami bertiga memiliki visi misi yang sama (you Sundanese probably can guess it easily :p). Sori advice-nya Mei emang rada decoded hahaha, typical Mei. :))

Cheers!

Similar Happy Tunes

Haaai,

Katanya kalo lagi in bad mood, salah satu cara untuk nyembuhinnya adalah dengan dengerin lagu. Well, karena kemarin zumba my instructor put a good music in it, so I want to share it with you. Ternyata lagu yang tunes-nya happy itu adalah Dear Future Husband-nya Meghan Trainor.

Despite its sexism controversy, but still it's a catchy tunes. And speaking of tunes, apparently this song is strongly similar with Dance With Me Tonight by Olly Murs. So that's adding the controversy as well. Haha, really, people, just calm down. Trainor is not fully copying, by the way.

Daaaan ternyata, katanya lagu ini pun ngejiplak lagu jadul yang judulnya Runaround Sue yang dinyanyiin penyanyi jadul tahun 60-an, Dion:

Lol, this is interesting. I don't care about the copyright thing. All I know is just the happy tunes that these songs have. You have to admit that you can dance cheerfully to these beats. Yeah!

Cheers!

Emotion

Hey, you.

I don't know exactly how I feel. I don't understand how am I supposed to feel.
The Brain wants me to get rid of you because, come on let's face it, it's illogical to keep something that as thin as a mist. One blow should be enough to make it disappear.

"But it's there.. it's exist," whispers the Heart. Or emotion. Or ego. Or just satan that continuously wishes me to keep doing the things that actually destroy my faith.

It is said that "you should never feel sorry for your feeling", but it's just inappropriate and I want you to have my apology for having an occupied mind with nonsense thoughts.

Can't you just leave?
Can't you just stay?
Please don't be in between.

"That is yours to decide, actually.." says the Heart.

"It's just a satisfaction. Don't blame yourself for that. You may mistaken it as romantic feeling, but it's not."

"You will be alright. Everything will be fine."

The wise and tender Heart shows a mercy this time. The logical Brain completely agrees.

You're A Memory

I've told you that I'm a hopeless romantic.

Everything that I'm fond of will be treated emotionally. So satisfying yet weaken.

If you happen to be special to me, you'll always be.

Januari 2013

Pernah kau tanya akan gunung yang menghampar di kejauhan sana.
Maka kini, setiap kulihat gunung yang sama, angin seolah membisikkan bait-bait kata yang pernah kau ucap, menelisik ke telingaku.
Aku tersenyum tiap kali kulihat jelas panorama indah bebukitan itu.
Tak hanya karena kehendak Tuhan diciptakan-Nya begitu cantik, tapi juga karena pantulan memori akan kita yang senja itu melintas menatap gunung.

"Aku tak tahu nama gunung itu," jawabku, sederhana saja.

Cheers

To Love or To Be Loved

I got a lot of thoughts right now. It is said that a woman's mind is like a ball of string. It's complicated. One thing is attached to another. Our job is connected with our feeling about the future, the future is related to the color of our lipstick, the lipstick issue is overlapped with our crush, and so on, the list never ends. Haha.

It's kind of interesting to think about that. It's funny because it's true. Other says that when a woman says she's going to bed, she's gonna clean the table first, turn off all lamps but necessary, brush her teeth, put a body lotion, comb her hair, and finally goes to bed. While when a man says he's going to bed, the next thing he does is.. actually goes to bed! Lol. Yeah, I think I've seen that thing in my family, among friends, and with former lovers.

And oh, this one is also precious:

How about that, eh, guys?

By the way, this thing makes me think that probably it is different between man and woman when it comes to love. Me and my best friend, Veness, always discuss about it. About how women tend to love easily so it is common--so common that almost become a template--that when a man loves a woman, the woman will eventually loves the man even she probably did not the feel the same at the first time.

This reminds me of another saying that "women are better to be loved than to love because as the time goes, women will able to grow feelings for men, and women will eventually give more than men". It may be true given that women's mind is like boxes or browser tabs that open at the same time. Woman can eventually love someone who loves her because probably with a lot of "sources" available, she can "creates" love.

Let's say that to "create" love, one must needs 5 parts. While women can search all parts needed in all boxes (that connected to each other, remember), men cannot do that because the "mind boxes" of theirs are kept separately. They prefer to open the boxes one at a time, at a different time. So, probably, men have difficulty to "find parts that needed to create love" because basically they can't find them. This is different when a man is the first who falls in love. He simply just opens a box called love, and there it is, a complete set of love, no need to be crafted whatsoever.

Is that makes sense? Well, that's how I imagine it. You can give me other views. I would like to share.

However, though it seems logical to me (all of that mind boxes things), but I still can't fully agree with that saying. It's like a limitation for women to actually choose men who we really love. In other words: women can't be the one who fall in love first. Kind of unfair, isn't it, girls?

That's why when AJ, one of my IELTS teacher, asked the class "to love or to be loved", I chose "to love" because when I love something or someone, I will give almost everything. And I feel free to decide what I'm going to give to it. Not to mention the feeling of satisfaction in all efforts I make. These reasons are above the unconditional love which was the reason my friend gave when he (also) chose "to love". Of course, I want to be loved too, there is a hope to be loved eventually after all the efforts I made, anyway. So maybe that what makes me a hopeless romantic--who fall in an unrequited love so often. Ouch :(

But hey, side of me also suggest that perhaps it is true that a woman should be loved, not to love because woman's mind is definitely different from men's. And that must be a reason for it. Maybe we're designed that way because we're supposed to play different roles, between man and woman. Well, I don't know exactly. Food for thoughts, right? ;)

Cheers!