Introverts United

Here's me bashing why I am an introvert. :))

And lately I'm addicted to my phone. God, help me! Like, really! It triggers dopamine release in my brain every damn time I check it--the social medias to be exact. And you know what happens when dopamine is produced by your brain? You'll do the thing over and over again to pleasure yourself. I wish I have something dopamine-releasing activities other than scrolling Path, Instagram, and Youtube. Gak cuma ngabisin kuota, tapi kebiasaan buruk ini juga ngabisin waktu terbuang sia-siaaaa~ memang kau pantas dapatkan! (sing the "Karma" song by Coklat, fellow 90s kids!)

And speaking of the guilty pleasure of Youtube, as I said wrote before that it is my playground where I can find content on my liking, and Buzzfeed videos are some of them. This one sums up my social skill:

And I love seeing Buzzfeed people and their office. So 2016! Kekinian banget!

Here are the things in case you don't want to click the video:

• Enjoying a good book
• The "do not disturb" feature
• Avoiding conversation
• When plans are cancelled
• Headphones
• When nobody's home
• Rain
• Hiding under covers

The blue ones are my true favorite. I thought I was a bad person when there was a time I was happy I couldn't come (well, decided not to come) to a holiday with my friends. I called my friend who hosted it (his house was voted together for staying during the holiday) that I couldn't join and suprisingly he said that he secretly wished it's cancelled. "I think I'm just gonna be a good host now for them," he said. Haha, introverts united.

But today I actually, truly, regret I couldn't join that holiday. Damn it, I was so obedient to my ex back then. He recommended not to go because he would miss me, blablahblah. Ew. Okay why is this goes off topic? Well yeah that, and the fact that it would be lot of interactions with people during the holiday so it would be exhaust me as an introvert. But it looked like fun and.... other reason. :p

Well anyway, it's nice to share it with you, whoever-reads-this!

Cheers!

Honest

Gw kadang takut untuk nulis karena berpikir orang bakal gak suka dengan apa yang gw tulis. To think that they will not be impressed with my life. Padahal gw pengennya apa yang gw tampilkan berkesan untuk orang lain. Yea, I'm a people-oriented person. I'm a "yes" person. Instead of having an argument, I just nod and silent most of the time. Well, grumpy in the inside actually, holding grudge. I know I have so much negative attitudes right now. Anti social, procrastinate A LOT, not getting works done (yet). My motivation is like going very, very south. Dropping to minus forty. I guess there's nothing exciting happen in my life so I feel flat and empty.

Again, if I look around, I hate myself. I hate that everybody's going somewhere. I know this is a phase, probably the lowest mood so far in this 27 years of life. Well, not as desperate as 2012 I guess, the job-seeking time. I started to feel this after my birthday last August. What happen to me?

I hate to show you that I'm too far from perfect. I hate that this makes you feel better because I'm miserable and you're not. But, my sanity is more important than your opinion. So I'm trying not to give a f*** about it.

I'm no angel.

Kalau kata awkarin, "kelansemuasucihakupenuhdosaah"